Summer...

I had grand expectations for this summer and thought it was going to be great to have a summer baby!  Finally! We could hang out in the backyard or in the front and let the kids just play....go do a few fun things here and there and then reality hit..in so many ways!!! We had 100 degree weather in mid-June!!!  It was WAY too hot to even step outside before 8pm let alone go anywhere or do anything especially with a newborn! It was miserable!! 

By the time the weather was reasonable outside, Sam had decided he hated his carseat and would cry hysterically the entire time he was in the car- it didn't matter how long or short the car ride was, he would cry and cry.  It was so sad and it definitely made me think twice about going anywhere- even to Walmart only 2 min. away!

We also didn't like going anywhere because Sam has the stomach the size of a peanut and he was constantly eating and I was feeling like I did nothing else but nurse him all day.  I was so glad that he was taking so well to nursing but it was a constant roller coaster ride for me.  One day would be great, the next day would be awful.  Since I had supply issues in the past, it has made it hard for me to believe that my body was producing what I needed to and that Sam was getting what he needed.  It didn't help that he would be fussy and then Clay would give him a bottle because I'd already been feeding him non-stop and he'd settle down and be happy/sleep once he had the bottle.  It was a constant battle between my body and myself.   I also struggled with it because it was taking up SO much of my time and I felt like I was always ignoring Addie and Will.  I felt like I was barely surviving and many days I didn't even feel like that!  I didn't have time to think about the house, making dinner, cleaning, blogging, shopping, anything!!!!  Having Addie and Will home all day, every day didn't help things either.  I've never felt so chaotic and out of control and I did not like that feeling at all!!!

It was such an adjustment to go from just the two older kids, who were fairly independent and easily occupied, to also having a newborn who required pretty much almost all of my attention!!  Sam really is a good baby aside from the nursing issues we were having so it was just the usual newborn needs that we weren't used to!!! Thank goodness for Clay, my mom, my friends and my neighbors.  They were all such a support through those first two (or maybe three!), very challenging, months.

Clay really stepped it up around the house and with the kids - doing as much as he could in the mornings before work and when he'd get home at night.  He did all the shopping, put the kids to bed, fed them, took them places, and helped me in whatever way he could.  He really is an amazing husband and father and I really appreciate his willingness to pitch in and do whatever needs to be done.   

My mom was so great to always come over when I needed her, helping with the kids, taking them places to give me a break or watching them so I could get out of the house.  She came and helped every night for a week while Clay was gone to Scout camp and gave up so much of her own time to help me.  She was also so supportive in helping and encouraging me to continue nursing and helping me build my confidence in myself.    She'd drop everything she was doing if I was having a rough day and needed some support or help.  I am so lucky to have such a wonderful mom!!!

My friends were such a help even though it was mostly through texts, in getting through the difficult times with nursing or even the crazy times with the kids.  They were always there if I needed to vent or needed help or encouragement.   I am so glad I have such good friends!!!

And I most definitely would not have survived without my incredible neighbors and ward friends.  We had so many people bring us meals!  It was so nice to not have to think about what we were going to have for dinner!  So many of them offered to help with the kids and some insisted that they help! Sometimes just having that 1 hr break from one of them, or not having to take all of them to the store, or whatever it was- was soo nice!  We love our neighborhood and are so glad to have such supportive friends so close that we can count on if we need some help!!

I know there are many more of you out there that made my life easier (maybe through support and acknowledgement or encouragement on Facebook or through an email or just a quick visit or chat)...and I may not have mentioned you specifically but thank you!!! 

Sam is now three months old and I feel like we are finally starting to climb out of the chaos.  I'm sure it helps that Addie and Will are both in school and we are getting into more of a routine with Sam too.  There are still many days where I get nothing done but a shower and sometimes it's barely that....but I am so grateful that we have Sam with us and that I get to be his mom.  He is such a sweet little baby.  

Sorry that got so long...just needed to record some of my feelings before I forget!!  I am sure a lot of the upcoming posts will be a bit on the wordy/long side but since this is pretty much the only place I am recording things, I have to include it all!!! 

Many more updates and lots of pictures coming soon!!!